✖We're the tear in your eyes
We're the reason you cry
We're the best thing you had but you pushed us away
Eros: to desire, to love (er, we’re going to go with a platonic love. I don’t know about all of the rest of that… stuff). Maybe if Mom had stuck around after she had Nairn and I, she would’ve loved me enough to change my middle name into something more fitting. I like to think she would’ve, even if the rest of them would laugh at me for it. Nairn, Dakota, Kodiak…none of them really care what happened to her. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think of her from time to time. I know she had to have left for a reason, maybe she saw the possible destruction in our eyes and didn’t want to be taken down with us. I just hope, wherever she is, she’s finally happy.I said I’d never let you fall and I always meant it
If you didn’t have a chance than I never did
You’ll always find me right there again
From the start, it’s always been Nairn and I. Maybe originally it was my own way of taking care of him---if I was with him, I could take the fall. If they all were busy laughing at me, they wouldn’t have time to hurt him. So, I follow. I do what he wants me to do, what anyone wants me to really. They’re all funny in their own twisted ways, and maybe I’m a bit naïve, but they are my friends…our friends. I try to see the good in people, even if they can be jerks. As much as I love our other brothers and our twin best friends, my ultimate loyalties will always lie with Nairn, even if it lands us both in Azkaban one day. After I caught him sleepwalking towards the window a few years back, I didn’t sleep for what felt like a month. I can’t imagine life without my twin…and I’d willingly throw away everything if it meant not having to go through life alone. I’d be lost. It’s nothing like the way Dakota takes care of us, looks out for us… and I know it doesn’t make much sense, but I don’t mind. Really, I don’t.
I like Dakota, he used to play me his music, give me his drawings…he’s really talented even if he doesn’t let anyone see. I’d hang up the pictures he gave me on the roof of my bottom bunk as a kid, and make up stories in my head about them once Nairn had fallen asleep. Nairn kind of screwed that up for me…one day he destroyed them all…but I wasn’t mad (I never really am)—that’s just sort of how he is. I think Kota knows that too, on some level. We weren’t really allowed near his art and music stuff after that. I don’t get outwardly mad like Nairn…but then again, I sort of keep to myself anyway.
Kind hearts don't make a new story
Kind hearts don't grab any glory
I don’t really know how to say ‘no.’ Even when Nairn pushes past the limits…or I get dared to do something life-alteringly stupid. As we’ve gotten older it’s become less about solely protecting Nairn and more of a mix of wanting to belong. He does it effortlessly. I want to fit in like him… A lot of times I don’t realize how dangerous something is…I just smile and do whatever they say.
Somehow I got roped into this whole animagus thing. I’m not very good at it… not like Nairn or Raikou or Zayde. They’ve all gotten it down, but I’m still trying. It’s not my fault that stuff tastes awful! I’m not great at transformation either…probably a mix of it really. I think I’ll try again in the summer, unless they want me to do it earlier. I think I’m a clouded leopard. They’re sort of the bridge between big cats and small cats. I managed to purr the other day, so that sort of takes out the cats that can roar. It’s been a long and bumpy road…there may have been a few incidents along the way…but I have to get this so they don’t leave me behind.